Twice the Oral

Oral Arguments

“Now,” the judge said, “we’re ready to proceed with oral arguments.”

“That should be easy – my wife and I have been having that argument since the honeymoon, Your Honor.”

“Eat me,” his wife said, with a bitchy scowl.

The judge clapped his hands together. “How about that? We’re making progress already. Sure you guys don’t want to stay married?”

Open up and say AHHH ...

Why did it take the dentist several tries to remove the blonde’s wisdom teeth?
 

Well, by the time she finished her oral procedure …

… he was never in the mood to perform surgery.

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2013 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

This piece appears in the ebook Harlowe Pilgrim's Oh My Words! 2013.

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,     Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim

Just One Suck

“I just want to taste it,” she said.

“No.”

“Come on – it’s so fat.”

“No.”

“Just one suck? Please?”

“No.”

“I just want to see if my mouth fits around it.”

“Fine.” He handed her the lollipop. “There. Happy?”

“Mmmm … mmmm … mmmm … slurp.”

He rolled his eyes. “At least the sound is right.”

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2013 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,  Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim