Fill ‘er up!

“Hey!” The man came running out of the convenience store.

“Take your hands off my wife!”

“Huh?” the gas attendant said. “This is your wife?”

“YES she’s my wife! And … honey? Are you fuck―”

“Sorry, man. I thought she was your daughter. Not bad.”

“HEY! I TOLD YOU ...”

“Mmmm ...” The attendant took a deep breath, and sighed. “Okay, there you go.”

“There I go? What do you mean …”

“You said to fill ‘er up. Well, she’s all filled up now.”

“Why you … YOU …”

“There you go.” The attendant slapped her on the ass. “Hey … while you’re here, mister … do you guys need any gas?”

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2013 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,   Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim

Dyslexic Love

“Hey!” she said. “Get that thing out of my ass!”

“Oh, sorry.” He quickly slipped out her back door, and into her front.

“That’s better. What’s the matter with you? I told you I don’t do ...”

“I know, I know. It’s my dyslexia.”

“Your what?”

“My dyslexia … you know, how I see numbers and letters switched around?”

“Yeah? That puts your dick in my ass?”

“Well, when you lay on your side like this … I guess I got your A-hole mixed up with your F-hole.”

She started laughing.

“What’s so funny? I’m trying to—”

“I just can’t believe you got mixed up. You’re my A-hole, honey.”

“Oh oh,” he said, picking up the pace. “Them’ s fucking words. And you know, I think I feel my dyslexia coming back on ...”

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2013 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,   Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim