“Come on and hit me! What’s the matter? You a PUSSY?”
“No,
I’m not a pussy at all. That is to say, I’m not nearly that
well-liked.”
POW!
***
Having regained consciousness, I find myself wondering why the word ‘pussy’ ever came to be an insult.
Shouldn’t
pussy be another word for tough? What else takes such a pounding and
still smiles at you after?
Someone
once told me, if shoes were made out of cunt leather, they would
never wear out. Of course, they’d be far too slippery to walk in,
but you could always fuck them. Hey, if the shoe fits …
Consider
that women don’t need to wear cups when they play sports. That’s
because girls are used to getting banged there—it’s no problem.
In fact, many like the contact. I heard sometimes they still wear
pads … but that’s for some other reason.
One
thing that pussy definitely doesn’t mean is ‘unpopular’.
Everybody’s into pussy … or at least they want to be. And it
can’t mean ‘not positive’ … the pussies I know are often
gushing with praise.
And
you know how a guy’s in trouble when someone’s got him by the
balls? If someone’s got you by the pussy, you probably like it.
If they’ve got you by the short hairs, well … that’s not
usually a problem these days, because pussies have become no-hairs,
with no hair nowhere anywhere under there.
But
although they’re tough, I wouldn’t say they’re impregnable …
most of them open up pretty easy … which is probably why they’re
so impregnateable.
So
they’re not ideal for storage. Which is just as well, because
everything I ever slid into one wanted to slide right back out. And
back in again. And back out. Which is distracting, at a minimum …
and a damn good way to start a family.
And
if fucking family values are wrong, I don’t want to be fucking
right. Just kidding—I want to be fucking right.
All
of that said, the end brings us back to the beginning. The word
‘pussy’ should be considered a compliment and a term of
endearment, which begs one final question:
“Who
are you callin’ a pussy?”
Me?
Why, thank you. Dick.
-Harlowe
Pilgrim
PS. Next time we’ll talk about how nice it is to call someone a dick.
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2015 Cock And Bull Publishing, LLC
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