More Halloween tweets, by popular
demand.
(At least, nobody tried to stop me.)
You kids pass out the trick-or-treat
candy. I'll be upstairs with your mummy.
Thinking of being a snake for Halloween
…
Just can’t figure out what to do with
the rest of my body.
Why did the skeleton girl break up with
her boyfriend?
She had enough bones of her own.
Wait – it’s not what it looks like! My dick’s going as a pumpkin this year, and … he’s just trying on his costume.
I’ll plant one in your pumpkin patch. Come on, Pumpkin.
It’s the silver bullet.
One of these days, The Great Pumpkin is going to come.
You must be a ghost, baby … because you’re scary good under the sheets.
You must be a ghost, baby … because you’re scary good under the sheets.
“Your daughter’s a real screamer,
Sir.”
Said innocently after taking her out to
a horror move.
And never, ever said again.
The best way to get your own bunch of
little trick-or-treaters?
Keep letting your lollipop break out of
the bag.
“How about some skull for Halloween?”
“I have a better idea,” she said.
“How about some severed head?”
You wanna know how I’m like a bat,
honey?
We’ll both get in your hair, and make
you scream.
I’m surprised you can still say black
cats are bad luck.
Every thing is not what it screams.
Hey, that’s a great skank costume.
And it’s not even Halloween yet.
… but deliver us some evil … I mean
‘from’ evil.
What do you call a couple of dead
people having sex?
Two fucking stiff … and two fucking
funky.
"I'm not a zombie ... I just want to eat your brains out."
-Harlowe
Pilgrim
Copyright 2014 Cock and Bull
Publishing, LLC
This piece appears in the ebook Harlowe Pilgrim's Oh My Words! 2014.
Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks, Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.
Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks, Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.
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