Labor Day

Let’s see now …

Every year,

Thanksgiving falls on a Thursday,

Christmas comes on the 25^th,

Easter is always on a Sunday,

and the 4^th of July is always on … well, the 4^th.

And then there’s Labor Day.

Which is always on the 9^th …

… month after ‘Sloppy Forgot-My-Pills Sex Night’ (a frequent and popular holiday in its own right).

Stick it on your calendar.

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Ps. You can’t keep it from coming, because you couldn’t keep it from coming.

Copyright 2014 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,  Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim

Government Condom

Full of holes,

Expensive as shit.

Don’t work too good,

It just don’t fit.

Got no ribs,

For anyone’s pleasure.

Nothing to see here,

Unlimited treasure.

Full of holes,

Just like a government condom.

-Harlowe Pilgrim

PS. "Is this the end of the line?"

Copyright 2014 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

This piece appears in the ebook Harlowe Pilgrim's Oh My Words! 2014.

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,    Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim

Cock Dock Talk

“It would be cool if submarine docks looked like vaginas. The subs would slide right in.”

“Have you ever even seen one?”

“No.”

“Then what do you know about … submarine docks?”

“Well, I’ve seen one of those.”

“So … you haven’t seen a vagina, then.”

“Nope. Don’t have a clue what they look like.”

“That’s a shame.”

“Unless they look like submarine docks. I’ve seen one of those.”

“Well sorry, they don’t.”

“It would be cool if they did, though.”

“Because …”

“The subs would slide right in.”

-Harlowe Pilgrim

PS. I bet you’re glad we got that straightened out.

Copyright 2014 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

This piece appears in the ebook Harlowe Pilgrim's Oh My Words! 2014.

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,    Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim