Sunday, June 5, 2016

Thanks for the Poke


Preceded by 
"Water Fallin' " - read it here


###


The wooden plank floor underfoot scarcely muffled the robust piano tune playing in the saloon downstairs.

“Do they play all night, Auntie?”

“Just about. But don’t worry … tired as we are, ain’t nothin’ gonna keep us awake.”

Tallulah smiled and nodded. “I’m feelin’ that.”

“I bet you are. That’s our room, down the hall.”

“I hope it has a washbasin.”

“You don’t look that dusty, honey.” Auntie winked at her.

“Neither do you, Auntie.” Tallulah winked back.

They were both gritty as hell from the road.



“Oh, this isn’t bad,” Tallulah said, her aunt leading her into the room.

“Well,” Auntie took in their surroundings. “I’ve surely seen worse. But I’ve seen better, too.”

The girl flopped down onto the bed. “It works for me.”

“Where is that man with the …”

“These your bags?”

A man stood in the doorway, luggage in hands.

Actually, he was leaning in the doorway, shoulder against the jamb.

“Appears the help here gets to drink on the job?” Auntie said.

“Pardon?”

“You heard me.”

“That’s right ma’am … I reckon I did. You see, drinkin’ here is ma’ job.” He giggled drunkenly. “An I carry the bags too.”

“I see.”

“You do?” He looked her up and down, and then eyed her niece watching from the bed. “I got somethin’ else you’d like to see.” He put down the luggage. “Bet you ladies would like to see ma’ cock.”

The girl on the bed froze.

Her aunt looked coy. “You really want us to check out your cock?”

He grinned, shitfaced and smug. “Oh yeah.”

His hands moved to his britches to free his willy.

“No,” Auntie said. “You let me get it for you.”

Tallulah’s face was astonishment.

“Oh?” he said. “So that’s how it is.” His hands fell to his sides. “Well that’d be just fine with me, little beaver. Come an get it.”

“I’m going to.”

She winked at her niece, then got close enough to the man in the doorway to smell the whiskey on his breath. “You ready, Mister?”

“I’m so ready, I can barely stand it. I got more than enough for the both of you.”

She reached down and grabbed something hard as wood.

Then she whipped it out.

Of his holster.

Slow to react, he was looking down the barrel of his own gun by the time he did.

“Little lady, what’s all of this?”

Tallulah was bolt upright on the bed.

Auntie smirked. “You wanted us to check out your cock.” 
Her thumb pulled back the gun’s hammer. “Seems to be working.”

He started to reach for the piece.

She jerked the gun at him. “THAT will do, sir. Don’t move … you seem like a fella who would have a hair trigger.”

“Well, I ain’t near as close as I was, I’ll tell you that.”

“Good … ‘cause there ain’t gonna be any shootin’ in here … unless you move a way I don’t like … you get me?”

“I getcha.”

“Good. So get the hell outta here.”

He looked ready to run, but hesitated.

“Can I have my gun back, ma’am?”

“Do I look stupid to you? Does he think I’m stupid, Tallulah?”

The girl shrugged. “I don’t know, Auntie. Maybe.”

“Nooo I don’t,” he said. “Why do ya―”

“You must think I’m stupid,” Auntie said over him, “because you asked me for your gun back. Now, if I give you this gun back, just HOW am I gonna SHOOT YOU if you PISS ME OFF?”

She looked about ready to shoot him.

“Good point,” he said, twitching nervously. “Ya know, I’m feelin’ mighty sober all of a sudden … and I’m awful sorry if I offended … but I’d sure like to go now.”

“That’d be a damn good idea. Now, get! And count yourself lucky if I don’t shoot you in the ass while you go. And not the way you’d probably like, either.”

The man nodded and disappeared into the hallway, his scrambling footsteps drumming on that wood plank floor.

“Crazy bitch with a gun,” they heard him say over the din of the raucous saloon downstairs.

Auntie smirked at her niece. “Crazy bitch with your gun,” she said after him.

“We already have guns,” Tallulah said.

“Yeah, but his is nicer than mine. And besides, where we’re going … you can’t have too many.” She handed the piece to he niece.

Tallulah popped open the six-shooter’s cylinder.

“There’s only one bullet. A man like that’s really pushing his luck packin’ just one bullet.”

“Likely he already pushed his luck … that’s where the other five bullets went.”

“Probably.”

“Don’t worry, Tallulah. We got plenty of bullets.”



It was hot in the room, too hot for the blankets, so she lay atop the bedding in her nightdress. Even that, she hiked up around her waist to cool her legs.

Her ladybug was out, but the darkness cared not and neither did she. Body gone limp, the bed felt fantastic, a welcome upgrade from the coach on the road.

A knock at the door startled her from almost asleep.

There followed a series of knocks.

Auntie had told her firmly, “No matter what you do, don’t open the door. Not for anyone besides me.”

“You in there?” a man’s voice said. “Come on and let me in.”

More knocking grew more persistent.

She sighed and got out of bed.

“Damn drunk, probably got the wrong room.”

The Colt under her pillow found its way into her hand and she crept with it to the door.

“I’m warnin’ you,” she said. “I’m not alone.” She clenched the weapon.

“PLEASE,” said the man’s voice. “Open the door.”

She sighed again. “You got the wrong room—now GIT.”

“I ain’t goin’ nowhere … I’m―”

The door eased open, lamplight from the hall spilling over the girl with the gun and the room behind her.

“You’re always pointing that thing at me,” the boy said.

Well, he was a man, but a boyish one.

It took her a moment to recognize him. “Tallywhacker?”

“That’s not really my name, but at least you remember me.” He smiled. “I’m not surprised.”

“I hardly recognized you with your clothes on.”

“Come on now … can I come in?”

“No, my Auntie said ―”

“Your Auntie’s not here now.” He looked furtively down the hallway and back.

“But―”

“Okay,” he said, pushing his way in, “thanks for the invite.”

He closed the door behind him and locked it.

The room was back in black.

“Oh,” she said, “you’re bad. Get out.”

“We need some light in here … you got any candles?”

He was moving in the dark.

“Those aren’t candles,” she said.

“They’re not?” He feigned confusion.

“Feel like titties, don’t they?”

“Mmm … now that you mention it.”

“I still have my gun on you.”

“I really was looking for candles.” He removed his hands from her nightdress.

“Yeah, sure you were.”

“Where else should I look?”

She narrowed her stance. “How about on the table?”

He knocked something off the table. “Found the table.”

After some fumbling a light was struck, and then a candle lit.

“There,” he said. “Now we can see who we’re talking to.”

The candlelight glimmered off the shiny Colt still pointed at him.

“What is with you and that thing?” he asked. “Do you really want to shoot me that bad? Put it away.”

“A girl has to be careful with no-good cowboys.”

“No-good cowboy?” He grinned. “Who are you callin’ a cowboy?”

She smiled at his quip.

And stashed the gun back under her pillow.

“Is that safe?” he said.

“I don’t exactly have a place to hide it in my nightdress.”

He raised his eyebrow. “No … I reckon ya don’t.”

She blushed, but the light was too dim to show it.

“I mean, there’s no holster.”

He looked her over. “I see.”

She was stunning.

“How did you know I was here?” she said.

“I saw you and that other good lookin’ woman come in. I was in the saloon, makin’ friends and money.”

“Oh, I’m good lookin’, huh?”

“You wouldn’t spect me to remember you if you wasn’t?”

“And my Auntie?”

“She doesn’t look old enough to be your auntie.”

“She’s my mother’s youngest sister … only ten years between us.”

“Well see there, it runs in the family.”

“What does?”

“Don’t make me say it.”

“Say it.”

“Don’t.”

“I’ll get my gun.”

“I’ll say it,” he said, taking her up in his arms. “Can you hear me?”

He kissed her.

Just once, but it lasted …

She breathed heavily at its conclusion. “It’s hard to answer you with your tongue in my mouth.”

“Be nice,” he replied, “or I’ll put it back in you.”

“I won’t be nice.”

“Then you’re in trouble,” he said, and applied another kiss, pushing her gently toward the bed.

She yielded to him.

He loosened his gun belt and let it slide to the floor, stepping out of it on the way.

Soon they lay together, that kiss still unbroken.

By the hardness she felt against her, she really was in trouble.

But her own parting legs informed her, not as deep a trouble as she wanted.

Then kisses on her neck made her skin crawl … in a good way.

She felt all too willing to entertain his hands moving over her nightdress, all greedy and improper.

And thrilling!

The room was spinning in ecstasy, even though the real ecstasy was yet to―


A loud knock at the door interrupted them. And then another.

Like someone was trying to knock the damn door down.

“Let us in!” hollered a voice from the hallway.

“We know he’s in there!”

“We demand it, at once! Open this door or we’ll smash our way in!”

Tallywhacker sprang up off the girl like she was a hot coal he’d fallen on.

“What’s going on?” Tallulah said, disoriented and short of breath.

Just a moment prior, something really good and bad was about to happen.

“Sorry,” he said. “I gotta go.” He rushed to the window and opened it. “Believe me …” Longing had replaced his swagger. “I’m really sorry.”

They were pounding on the door.

“LET US IN THERE!”

“What do you want?” Tallulah yelled at the door.

She turned back in time to catch the last of her boy slipping out the window. “Romance is fleeting,” she recalled being told one time. “I guess to hell.”

A loud bang and the door was forced open.

Several men stormed into the room.

“Where is he?”

“Where is who?”

She pulled the blankets to cover up.

“The kid. He musta come in here … we looked everywhere else.”

“A kid?” she said. “Somebody’s child is missing? How awful. But I ain’t seen anybody’s kid.”

“YOU know who we mean.”

“Mister, I assure you … I have no idea.”

One of the men pointed at the gun belt on the floor.

“The kid that dropped his iron there. Likely before he dropped your drawers.”

There were heavy footsteps approaching from the hall.

And then an angry voice.

“WHAT is the MEANING of THIS? Stand aside, you step aside. WHERE is my niece? If there is a hair out of place on her head …”

“Don’t look at us,” one of the men said with a smirk, “if there is.”

“AUNTIE!” Tallulah jumped up from the bed and into her aunt’s arms. “They broke the door down!”

“It’s alright honey,” she stroked her back. “Your auntie will take care of this.”

“I wish somebody would,” one of the men said. “I’m lookin’ fer that young scoundrel. An I know he was hidin’ in this here room.”

Auntie turned to face the men, and Tallulah sat on the bed.

“Scoundrel?” Auntie said. “What the hell is goin’ on here?”

“See, the kid skipped out on our card game … owin’ us a lot of money.”

The other men sputtered in agreement.

“Owin’ ME a LOT of money.”

“You let a KID owe you a lot of money?” Auntie said. “That was you FIRST mistake.”

“Shut yer trap, woman … or it won’t be my LAST mistake.”

The men cackled menacingly.

“I hope she keeps talkin’,” one of them said. “I’d put a mistake in her.”

There was more raucous laughter.

“Me too! Me too!”

In an instant, Auntie swooped down and plucked one of Tallywhacker’s guns from the holster on the floor near her feet.

And it was poking the biggest talker in the chest before anyone had a chance to object.

“What’s this?” the stunned man asked.

She cocked the hammer.

Tallulah looked near us stunned as he did.

“I’m fixin’ to blow a hole in your chest your heart won’t soon forget … son of a bitch probably pour right on out.”

“Awww … why would you want to go and do that?”

She put it to him harder, like she wished there was a bayonet affixed to the barrel.

“Why wouldn’t I want to?”

“I … I was just lookin’ for the kid.”

“We don’t know nothin’ bout no kid. Right honey?”

“Ah …” Tallulah said, “right, Auntie.”

“Ya hear that? We can’t help ya. Now get out—or I’ll shoot ya FULL of holes.”

He sized her up and spat on the floor. “Alright.” He stepped back.

Auntie squinted into him.

“Thanks for the poke,” he said, with a nod to the gun.

His compadres laughed. One of them said, “That kinda poke aint’ my favorite.”

They started to leave.

Auntie held the gun on them still. “Keep on talking,” she said. “You’ll end up in the kind of box that ain’t your favorite.” She looked at Tallulah and shook her head. “Thanks for the poke.” She sighed. “What an asshole.”

“Auntie,” Tallulah said, “I think we should find somewhere else to stay.”

###

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2016 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,  Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.


Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim

And on Pinterest here