Pithy thoughts and wanderings …
###
How the Hell am I supposed to fertilize the entire garden?
She said, “There’s bread for the
ducks in the cupboard.”
He said, “Since when are there ducks in
the cupboard?”
I sordid her dirty laundry.
“Just tell me what it’s gonna take
to get you in this bed tonight.”
(furniture salesman)
Making a baby in the shower, and a baby
shower, are two entirely different things.
For one thing, with baby
showers, the daddy-to-be doesn’t usually come.
Watch your pussies around the grill.
Fire and pets do NOT mix.
Confucius say,
“NASCAR not prove who
is right. NASCAR prove who can turn left.”
Shower lifeguard duty last night.
Don’t worry – everybody that came in, came out.
I’m afraid I’m losing the
squirt-gun battle of the sexes.
Mine has the range and accuracy …
but the lady’s squirter has unlimited ammo.
The worst thing about tornadoes is, you
feel like you’re always pissing around in circles. And then it
hits you …
Smoking crack again?
Better put some ice on that.
My all-time favorite Italian wrestling
move … the Spaghetti Squash.
It’s been a while since I’ve been
in Georgia.
I should give her a call.
###
-Harlowe Pilgrim
Copyright 2016 Cock And Bull Publishing, LLC
Harlowe Pilgrim's books are available at Amazon, iBooks,
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