Halloween quibbles, for you to nibble.
So tricks or tweets, it's up to you ...
(Yes, I actually tweet this shit)
“The Devil made me do it!”
Apparently not considered a good or funny excuse by the church elders.
where the warlocks were hung,
and the witches were glad.
The naked, hands-free pumpkin carry …
Just the thing, for when you’re sick
of bobbing for apples.
Trick or treat,
it smells like feet,
but otherwise not a bad pussy t’weet.
Oktoberfest brews are my favorite.
Which I guess makes the others my
second favorite.
The best thing about Autumn is putting
it incider.
"And for my next trick, I'll make
your virginity ... disappear!" - Cherry Houdini
“Oh, I see,” said the nurse as she
went to the supply cabinet. “We’re going to need the long gloves
for you.”
Snap Snap
Gulp
Snap Snap
Gulp
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater, had a wife
but couldn’t keep her.
She took off when she figured out
‘Pumpkin’ was a stripper, not a squash.
The sin will come up tomorrow.
Even you have a soul. Ass-soul.
Honey, I said to ‘shuck’ the corn.
I know it rhymes … but it’s not the
same thing.
It’s colder than a witch’s tit
outside?
Then maybe she should go inside …
it’s less nippy in there.
And down came a spider, who crawled up
inside her.
So that’s all I was doing …
smooshing the spider.
“I’d eat it,” she said, “if it
was a candy bar.”
“We’ll see about that.” I
Snickered.
Do you have the devil inside?
Would you like the devil inside?
Slutty costumes are on sale now.
You’ll want to stock up.
Let’s see … her eyes are rolled
back, and her head’s spinning around …
She’s either coming,
or I hope there’s an exorcist coming.
Shake your mummy maker.
-Harlowe
Pilgrim
PS. See the fun you're missing if you don't follow me on Twitter?
Copyright 2014 Cock and Bull
Publishing, LLC
This piece appears in the ebook Harlowe Pilgrim's Oh My Words! 2014.
Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at www.cockandbullpublishing.com, Amazon, iBooks, Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.
Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at www.cockandbullpublishing.com, Amazon, iBooks, Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.
Follow on Twitter @
https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim
How the fuck am I missing these tweets? Fuckin Twitter!
ReplyDeleteOh? I hadn't realized you and Twitter were ... that close ... ;)
ReplyDelete