Jesus Vs. Santa
By Harlowe Pilgrim
Copyright 2012 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC
Chapter Three
“Jesus,
honey?”
“Yeah?”
“I
was just thinking about something.”
Jesus
groggily rubbed his eyes. “That’s good to know. About anything
in particular?”
“You
know how you’ve been a little ... down … over your birthday?”
“Yeah,
I guess maybe I have been a little bit
ornery.”
“Yes
… a little. Anyhow, what if we went away for a little …”
“Shock
therapy? I don’t know—it didn’t seem to help much last time.”
“… vacation.
A vacation—it’s not shock therapy, but I think it would be good
for us.”
“Vacation,
eh? That could be nice, except you know how whenever you take me
anywhere, you always end up saying you can’t
take me anywhere?”
“I
do recall saying that,” Mary said.
“So
what about it? Probably makes it a non-starter, right?”
“I
think it would be just the thing to perk you up.”
“What
about my track record of bad behavior?”
“Can’t
you try to be on your best behavior this time?”
“I
guess I can try to be
on my best behavior,
but …”
“Well,
I guess that will have to do—what more can I ask than your best?”
“Besides,” she
thought, “the place will be full of other
wonderful women trying to put up with their asshole husbands.”
“Hey!
I heard that!”
“I
knew you would,” she said. “That’s why I thought it.”
... ...
Read the other 92 Chapters of Jesus Vs. Santa!
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-Harlowe Pilgrim
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