Harlowe Pilgrim’s ‘Tweeting Fool’ - no. 3

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I'm very fortunate to be with an adult film star.
And I'm very fortunate she hasn't found the films.

“How about a boot in the ass?” she said. “Is that kinky enough?”

vagabond: the bond formed when one becomes attached to
a particular vag.

Which life is your pussy on? #ninelives

The new iPad will be more absorbent, and have wings.
And thankfully, a remote control.

Conflict Resolution 101: Once you get into it, just go back and forth, until both parties cum to an agreement.
See also: makeup sex

camel tow: the Middle Eastern take on tractor pulling

It's all fun and games ... until you wake up bound, gagged, and naked.

Have you heard of Sheikh Yabooty - the disco dancing cleric?

Beware the Wal-Mart parking lot on windy days.
Just take my word for it.

Why is something that’s supposed to hit a target, called a missile?

I sure love naked yoga - I get to be the mat.
From the half lotus, to the reverse cowgirl …

I guess I'd rather have my mind blown, than nothing at all.

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-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2015 Cock And Bull Publishing, LLC

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