Halloween quibbles, for you to
nibble.
So tricks or tweets, it's up to you ...
(Yes, I actually tweet this shit)
“The Devil made me do it!”
Apparently not considered a good or funny excuse by the church elders.
Old Salem,
where the warlocks were hung,
and the witches were glad.
The naked, hands-free pumpkin carry …
Just the thing, for when you’re sick
of bobbing for apples.
Trick or treat,
it smells like feet,
but otherwise not a bad pussy t’weet.
Oktoberfest brews are my favorite.
Which I guess makes the others my
second favorite.
The best thing about Autumn is putting
it incider.
"And for my next trick, I'll make
your virginity ... disappear!" - Cherry Houdini
“Oh, I see,” said the nurse as she
went to the supply cabinet. “We’re going to need the long gloves
for you.”
Snap Snap
Gulp
Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater, had a wife
but couldn’t keep her.
She took off when she figured out
‘Pumpkin’ was a stripper, not a squash.
The sin will come up tomorrow.
Even you have a soul. Ass-soul.
Honey, I said to ‘shuck’ the corn.
I know it rhymes … but it’s not the
same thing.
It’s colder than a witch’s tit
outside?
Then maybe she should go inside …
it’s less nippy in there.
And down came a spider, who crawled up
inside her.
So that’s all I was doing …
smooshing the spider.
“I’d eat it,” she said, “if it
was a candy bar.”
“We’ll see about that.” I
Snickered.
Do you have the devil inside?
Would you like the devil inside?
Slutty costumes are on sale now.
You’ll want to stock up.
Let’s see … her eyes are rolled
back, and her head’s spinning around …
She’s either coming,
or I hope there’s an exorcist coming.
Shake your mummy maker.
-Harlowe
Pilgrim
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Copyright 2014 Cock and Bull
Publishing, LLC
