You come here often?

So, two titties walk into a bra.

“You come here often?” a fellow asked them.

“No, but we get it on us all the time.”

-Harlowe Pilgrim

PS. Don't complain to us ... you've made yourself a target.

Copyright 2015 Cock And Bull Publishing, LLC

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,

Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim

Half Pregnant

A teenage girl approached her mother. “Mom, I think I’m half pregnant.”

“What?” her mother said. “Pregnant?! I can’t believe this! We’ve talked about …”

“No—not pregnant, mom. Half pregnant.”

“Half pregnant?! What in the world are you talking about? There’s no such thing as half pregnant!”

“I think that’s what I am, mom.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you think that?”

“Well … he only put it halfway in. So …”

“Honey, I hate to tell you, but … any half a prick can make a baby. Just ask you father.”

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2013 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

This piece appears in the ebook Harlowe Pilgrim's Oh My Words! 2013.

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,     Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim

Fill ‘er up!

“Hey!” The man came running out of the convenience store.

“Take your hands off my wife!”

“Huh?” the gas attendant said. “This is your wife?”

“YES she’s my wife! And … honey? Are you fuck―”

“Sorry, man. I thought she was your daughter. Not bad.”

“HEY! I TOLD YOU ...”

“Mmmm ...” The attendant took a deep breath, and sighed. “Okay, there you go.”

“There I go? What do you mean …”

“You said to fill ‘er up. Well, she’s all filled up now.”

“Why you … YOU …”

“There you go.” The attendant slapped her on the ass. “Hey … while you’re here, mister … do you guys need any gas?”

-Harlowe Pilgrim

Copyright 2013 Cock and Bull Publishing, LLC

Harlowe Pilgrim’s books are available at Amazon, iBooks,   Smashwords.com, Books-A-Million, and most other online booksellers.

Follow on Twitter @ https://twitter.com/HarlowePilgrim